Flower boys and the Schopenhauer's veil
by CullOrah
Summary: Two average boys are walking down a cobblestone path, in the evening, and come across something very interesting, leading them to make a challenge. Nothing bad can happen, right?
1. The nice guy

"And so the nice guy never wins, man," said the boy. He didn't used to usually agree with that boy, most of the time he said pretty stupid and bland and kinda offensive things. But this time he had said something he could somehow actually agree with.  
"I don't know, man. A nice guy is pretty... nice, you know?"  
"Yeah, but he doesn't stand a chance against a bad guy. A bad guy is willing to do anything to get what he wants, anything. He doesn't care about what the other person wants, he just arrogantly takes it. The nice guy, on the other hand, he respects the person, so he's won't risk too much, and is eventually destined to lose."  
That was not much coherent on his part to say, since the boy was not one gentleman at all, but rather liked to hoot at girls pretty often.  
"Well, I'm sure there must be somebody who doesn't like the bad guy type."  
"No way, man. Girls crave for excitement, they want to feel strong emotions, they want to feel desired and loved, but it's a kind of rough love, this one."  
"I don't know. I don't fully agree."  
"Whatever," said the boy, "I don't really care. It's just what I think, after all."  
They were walking. Walking down a cobblestone path, at 7 PM. He didn't remember well if they got out just to take a walk in the tepid evening or if they were actually going somewhere in particular.  
The other boy raised his head, like a wild animal sniffing something in the air, "Do you hear that? What the fuck is that?"  
"Uh..."  
He sped the pace up and went ahead, then stopped in front of an illuminated spot. He'd stopped before a wired fence, and was looking with fascination over to the other side.  
"What's up?"  
"Dude, check **THIS** out. This is so weird. Female rugby."  
His heart kinda jumped, but he didn't let it show, instead he walked up beside him and watched, too.  
A dozen or maybe more girls were training in the field, more specifically, rugby training. You could hear yelling and screaming throughout all the area, orders and indication, insults and laughing, all mixed up in a confused turmoil of dust, sweat and clashing bodies.  
"Wow," the black-haired boy said, turning to him, "these gals are truly something else, right, Dave?"  
Dave didn't even looked back at him. He just stared in awe and pain.  
When was it that it had even started? When was it? Why was it? He couldn't even remember, not that he really cared. Watching them made his chest feel tight, and he didn't know why.  
A long, high, blowing of whistle made all the girls stop and walk away, while high-fiving each other and slapping each other's butts.  
John burst into an uncontrollable laugh.  
"Dear God, Dave, these chicks are freaking brutal, Jesus Christ!"  
Dave giggled a bit. It **WAS** kinda funny, after all, seeing girls slapping each other's asses like that.  
"Hey," he said, "wanna make a challenge?"  
Dave hesitated. John's challenges were usually up to no good.  
"What kind of challenge?" he asked suspiciously.

"Here they come."  
Dave looked frantically over the entrance of the gym. On second thought this was crazy, a very stupid idea.  
"Hey. Hey, John, look, I don't think I want to…"  
"No second thoughts now, buddy. They're here. See you later!"  
And he went towards the first girls that had exited the building. _"Go Lions!"_ a large banner said, hanged over the entrance.  
"How about we see if we can manage to pick up this kind of girl? Average girls like bad boys, so what about **BIG** girls? Shall we find out?" had said John, with a grin in his face.  
_Good God, why was I so stupid as to agree to this idiotic bet? I'm a total klutz with girls, not to mention these kind of girls! What the fuck do I do, now?!_  
A black-haired girl with a ponytail got out, holding a large blue bag over her shoulder, and passed John, looking at him trying to convince the three girls in front of him to go out with him. She was wearing a light-green sleeveless shirt, which read _THINK AGAIN _in capital letters, and jean shorts.  
She then looked at him, as if questioning the meaning his presence there, what was his purpose and why was he waving at her in such an awkward and creepy way.  
"Hi!" Dave managed to say with a squeaky voice.  
"Uh, hi?" said the girl, stopping in front of him.  
She looked at Dave with her eyes wide open, but she had a faint sneer about her face.  
"What is it?" she asked, after a few seconds of growing silence. Dave suddenly thought about his height. He was almost 6 feet tall.  
Throughout his life he had always dated girls shorter or just almost as tall as him, and he had been fairly okay with it.  
This girl was, like, at least 6"2, and she was towering over him, looking at him with a subtly mocking look.  
"I… uh… I was wondering… I mean… my name is, uh, Dave and… I was- I mean, we were looking at you guys... I mean, girls playing and… so we thought, uhm… I mean, you're pretty…"  
_Don't-say-buff-don't-say-buff-don't-say-buff-don't-say-buff!_, he thought as hard as he could, staring at her arms.  
"Buff... _ling_! Baffling!"  
"Should I take it as a compliment?"  
"Uh… y-yes?"  
She smiled again in her subtly sneering way and said, "You're cute. And you seem a nice guy. Do you want to give me your number?"  
"Uh… uhm… yes! Okay!" said Dave, very much confused. According to John, it should have been them to ask the girls their number, but whatever, he had done it.  
She softly giggled, tidied her hair up with a hand and took the scrap of paper on which Dave had written the digits.  
"So, uh, ca-"  
"I'll call you, maybe. Bye, dude," she said, and casually walked away.  
Dave kept watching her walking, until she disappeared, happy, but still a bit disoriented.  
"So… how'd it go?" asked John, placing a hand on Dave's shoulder, "Me, I managed to get three numbers, man!"  
"Good," said Dave, "As for me… hm… not sure. She did get my number."  
"Well, did you get hers?"  
"No… was- was I supposed to?"  
"Uh, yeah? Goddammit, Dave, how do you plan on calling her, now?"  
_Huh_, thought Dave, _That is a damn good question._


	2. Florist boy

"Dave, could you go get the new delivery on the back?"  
"Yes, Miss Rose."  
"'Rose' is fine, Dave. You've been working here for more than a year, after all."  
"Got it, Rose."  
"Just use a proper register, Dave."  
"Understood, Rose."  
"Much better. Now go."  
Dave had been working as Rose's employee, at her "Flowers' Iperuranium" , for –as she had reminded him- more than a year.  
When his brother had told him he had found the perfect job for him, he didn't really believe him. After all, Dave hated to do boring jobs, they drained the life out of him.  
"You're such a tender boy, Dave, I know this job is perfectly fit for you, trust me."  
So when he was introduced to Miss Rose, a very beautiful lady who smelled of talcum and flowers, he didn't expect his workplace to be a little greenhouse around the corner.  
The Flower's Iperuranium was not like any other place Dave had ever seen before: it was like secret magical place hidden inside an unlikely-looking building, into which you access through an improbable-looking door.  
To him, it was like a magical place straight out from an Harry Potter's book. Inside, everything was silent and perfumed and tepid and relaxing. He couldn't have asked for any better job. Besides, Miss Rose had gradually began to spoil him more and more with biscuits and tea.  
"You're such an adorable and tender boy, Dave. I am surprised girls do not flock into this shop just to took a peek at you. Were I younger, I would've never let such a cute boy escape my eye," she said once, during a tea break, to which he had profusely blushed.  
"Miss Rose, I-I thought y-you were…"  
"Lesbian?" she anticipated him.  
"Well, I saw you and… that lady once, you know, do stuff…"  
Miss Rose had laughed heartily and reddened a little, and then had said, "Yes, Dave, you're right. Maybe we should've been more discreet. Though, to like chocolate cake doesn't inherently mean not liking ice-cream, don't you think?"  
Dave had kept his teacup midair for a few seconds before realizing what she had subtly been trying to tell him, after which he had said "Oh," and had drowned his even more embarrassed face into the cup of green tea. Despite this, Dave had increasingly been thinking of Miss Rose as a kind, loving elder sister or aunt. Even Miss Rose's fiancée, Miss Kanaya, an attractive slender, brown-skinned woman, always wearing large straw hats, had talked to him, albeit not in the same loving way of Miss Rose.  
"Dave, the delivery. They 're waiting in the back"  
"Yes, Miss Rose, at once."  
Miss Rose sighed and went on compiling documents piled up on a desk beside the counter.  
Dave rushed to the back, opening one door after another, passing through the main greenhouse, and arrived at the green door which opened on a side street.  
As he flung it open, the truck was already there.  
A big, sturdy man with a considerable large belly immediately turned to him, arm crossed.  
"About time. Plants, flowers and seeds, right, Mister…?"  
"Strider. Oh, I'm not the one in charge, by the way, I'm just a employee."  
"Figures," said the man, brushing his thick mustache, "Well, let's get this over with. Jade, get your ass over here!"  
The truck door opened, as someone started to get out.  
"Just sign over here, boy," said the man, handing him a document.  
"Uh… wait, I should have a pen… somewhere…" he said, searching in his apron's pockets.  
"I will be right back!" and rushed inside again, heading for Rose's office.  
He opened the door without even waiting and threw himself in,"Miss Rose, I'm sorry, it's urgent, could you give me a…"  
Miss Kanaya and Miss Rose were both leaning against Rose's desk and were looking at him with shocked expressions.  
"… pen?" he then finished, quickly realizing he hadn't even knocked.  
"A-ehm," Rose cleared her throat, "Dave, please knock on the door before entering my office."  
"I-I-I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, absolutely, yes, I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot, sorry," he blabbered, his face burning like a supernova.  
"Did you say you needed anything?"  
"Y-Yes, a… a pen, it was just a pen… gotta sign the… uhm… quickly…"  
Rose took a pen from upon her desk and gave it to him.  
"Don't be so embarrassed, Dave, it's okay," said Miss Kanaya, smiling at him.  
"Okay… uh, thanks and… sorry again! I will knock next time, sorry!" and he ran out of the office, "Oh, my god, what a fucking **idiot**, Jesus Christ!", he whispered to himself.  
He returned to the man outside, sweating and panting.  
"Alright, got the pen."  
"Good boy. Would you mind helping my man with those boxes?"  
"Screw you!" suddenly said the other guy, for no reason.  
"C'mon Jade, I'm just sassing you," laughed the man.  
"Uh," said Dave, not understanding what was going on at all, "Yeah, sure, I don't mind helping."  
The other guy was already unloading the boxes from the truck's trailer, placing them down on the ground. Dave stopped just in front of them, waiting for the man to hand him a box.  
There was something off about this guy: he couldn't clearly see his face, he wore a cap, but he had his hair tied into a knot. Besides, his shirt was kinda soaked in sweat from lifting all those boxes, and you could kinda see something under that, which kinda looked like…  
"A bra… ?" he whispered to himself.  
The guy suddenly turned his head and looked at him.  
_Oh, shit, did he hear me? Shit, shit, shit!  
_He cleared his throat, trying to be casual, "So, dude, uh… delivering boxes must be tiring, huh? I mean, you're pretty buff."  
The guy lifted a box a walked toward him, the truck shaking. The box covered his face, so he couldn't tell if he was staring at him or not, which made him even more uneasy.  
"I guess. It sure is tiring."  
_Okay, that was seriously weird,_ thought Dave, _no guy has such a feminine voice, what is…_  
The person handed him the box, which was surprisingly heavy for containing just plants and seeds, and looked at him from above, giving him a sort of déjà vu.  
"So… you work here, huh?"  
He wondered if it was a naturally ability he had, to be in embarrassing situations at the wrong moment every single time.  
It was like putting little pieces of shattered glass together, until you finally can start to guess what the object is going to look like.  
From behind her big, round glasses, her deep, green eyes pierced through his head, like a spear. Her cheekbones seemed to smile along with her face, in that unforgettable mocking way of hers.  
He actually hadn't heard from her since that day, and a week had passed, now. He'd thought, _Oh well, at least I'm not caught up in this stupid challenge anymore. Good luck, John!_  
But instead, at the last moment, this had happened.  
"You're pretty cute in that apron, y'know?" she said, grinning.  
He felt his face burning as hot as a raging fire, while his glasses fogged.  
She burst into laugh and went back to pick up the remaining boxes, while he just stood there like a complete idiot.  
"So," she said, "didn't expect me to work as a shipping girl, huh?"  
Didn't expect you to be a shipping girl? Didn't expect me to be turned on by…  
"Wait, what?" Dave said aloud, on instinct.  
"What, what?" she asked.  
"Uhm, nothing, just… uh…"  
"Hey, what time do you get off?"  
"What?" he asked, confused.  
"What time do you get off work."  
"Uhm," said Dave nervously, "A-At 2…"  
"Perfect!" she said, "See you later then, Dave!"  
_Does she know my name? Oh, right I told her last time. Wait, what was her name, again?_  
"Uhm… Jade? "  
"Yeah?" she responded, turning to him.  
"Could you, uh, help me take the boxes inside?"  
"Sure!" she said, and lifted two piled up boxes.  
He found himself staring at her arms again, before realizing she was watching him. He quickly turned  
around and picked up a box, then rushed through the door, inside.  
_How the hell can a girl even have those kind of arms?_, he thought, _Girls are supposed to be… girly, right?_  
They carried all the boxes inside, saying nothing for the whole time, until there weren't any left outside.  
"The sign, boy," said the man when he got out for the last time.  
_Right, the sign. Please, just let this be over with._  
Right now, he only wanted to run away from that giant girl who liked to flirt with him in a weird way.  
_Why the hell did I accept John's stupid challenge?!_  
He had just finished signing the damn thing, when the girl put a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, catch you  
later, Dave."  
She then proceeded to casually give him a smack on the ass and get back in the truck.  
"What the fuck?" he whispered to himself.  
He turned to the man with a shocked face, gaping. The man gave him a look and shrugged, "Women  
these days," and added, "Wish my wife smacked me on the ass every day, before going to work."

"Dave?"  
Dave turned to Miss Rose with a hollow expression.  
"Dave, are you feeling alright? You seem quite… distraught."  
"Oh… oh, it's nothing Miss Rose, really…"  
She watched him with an apprehended expression.  
"Did something happen with the delivery? Am I giving you to much work?"  
"No, seriously, nothing like that, Miss Rose. It's just…"  
"Did… did I and Kanaya shocked you, earlier?"  
"Jesus Christ, Miss Rose, you absolutely did not. You can do whatever you want in that office for all that  
matters. It's just that… earlier…"  
"Yes?"  
"I mean," said Dave, already beginning to feel embarrassed, "Do you think… do you personally think it's  
normal for a girl to slap a boy's ass?"  
"Wh… sorry, what?" said Rose, widening her violet eyes.  
Dave sighed, "Never mind."  
"N-No, I mean…" said Rose, trying to recompose herself, "I mean, it does not seem very… normal, but I  
guess there must be a specific reason for someone to do that… did someone touch your lower back in a  
provocative way?"  
"I… I think so, but…"  
Dave groaned, messing up his hair, "Shit, I don't know what to do!"  
"So," said Rose, looking at the clock, "Who's this bold lass?"  
It was almost 2 PM.  
"How to put it…" began Dave, "She's…"  
The shop door opened. A very tall, buff girl with long jet-black hair walked in.  
Dave stared at her with a frightened face, darting hopeful looks at Miss Rose.  
Please, please, please help me!  
Though Miss Rose didn't seem to cross his gaze at all. She just kept staring at the girl, until she finally  
said "W-Welcome to the Flowers' Iperuranium, dear! How may I help you?"  
To Dave's incredulity, she seemed to be very embarrassed.  
"I…" she said, looking at Dave, "Maybe I'll just have a look around…" and she started wandering around  
the shop, trying to be awfully casual.  
Miss Rose immediately turned to him and whispered, "Is that her?"  
"How'd you- Look, I didn't think she would have actually showed u-"  
"Shush. Dave…"  
"Yes…?"  
"Holy freaking dark demon Jesus, Dave! What is she, a crossfitter? Did you get smack on the ass by a weightlifter girl? I wish I was-"  
"What the hell are you-"  
"Dave," she said, but then didn't say anything else. She turned to the girl and said in a cheerful voice:  
"You must be the beautiful girl Dave was telling me about, earlier. Well, Dave's finished his turn, now, so  
he's all yours!"  
What?!, he thought, panicking.  
"Oh… heh," said the girl smiling, "Well, I… I'll wait outside, then."  
Rose turned to Dave, wearing a evil smile on her face.  
"You are _so_ dead, Miss Rose."  
"Please, just Rose is fine."


End file.
